The Rest of You are Slackers

obfuscate

verb.

1. Render obscure, unclear, or unintelligible. 

2. Bewilder (someone)

Origin: Late Middle English; from late Latin obfuscat-'darkened', from the verb obfuscare, based on Latin fuscus 'dark'

(I know nothing of Latin pronunciation, but I'm picturing obscured, or confusing cats and caring in the dark)

epistle

noun

formal or humorous 

1. A letter.

2. A poem or other literary work in the form of a letter or a series of letters.

Origin:

Old English, via Latin from Greek epistolē, from epistellein 'send news', from epi 'upon, in addition' + stellein 'send'. The word was reintroduced in Middle English from Old French